Some days up; some days down. You never know which direction you will go. There are many symptoms that someone living with LBD may experience. This has been a day that overall was not one my best days.
During the after noon hours, I was taking to someone, I'll call person # 1. We were having a good debate.... both of us were enjoying it. Enter person
# 2. They both start talking at the same time and continue to do this.
Years ago, I could listen to multiple conversations at the same time. No longer can I do this. When more than one person is talking at the same time, I simply know that I have to get out of the situation quickly. That is my only thought. If I do not get out of it, my brain will start pinging like a pinball machine is being played. When this occurs, I will put my hands over both ears and scream. It is if the neuron in the brain that needs to pick up the signal has died, and the pinging continues until live neurons can be found. This becomes physically, mentally and emotionally overpowering and draining. Once stopped, it does not usually take long for me to recover.
Today, I held up my hand and said, "I cannot handle two people talking at the same time". It got quiet. Person # 1 started back talking. Person # 2 started again to talk at the same time. My next response was "Ya'll don't get it"! Person # 2 leaves the room after making some comments and goes into their office. My thoughts were that I should explain to Person # 2 what happens in my brain so they could better understand what happens when this occurs. Person # 2 responds, "I know why it happens, you do not have to tell me"! I would suggest they really do not understand because they do not live with LBD; but, they had no interest in truly finding out.
There is no way for someone not living this disease to realistically understand the magnitude of the situation. People including care partners see the end results; but, likely never know the full mental and emotional impact that these situations cause. Rarely will the people living with dementia share the most difficult situations.
Hopefully through better education, there will be better awareness and understanding of what is happening.....that is why I unashamedly share the good, the bad and the ugly of living with LBD.
© Robert Bowles May 14, 2016
Robert Bowles, Jr.